6 weeks

There is a tiny human growing inside of me. It is actually in there. Holy shit you guys. 

I’m going to take a stab at doing a templated update thing. Haven’t decided if I want to long term or not so y’all tell me? Here goes …

How far along? 6 weeks 3 days

Baby is the size of: a chocolate chip? Maine blueberry? 

Total weight gain/loss: About the same but I’m not really paying attention 

Maternity clothes: Obviously not. BUT since starting IVF meds (aka entering the land of the eternal bloat), I’ve been mostly wearing Betabrand’s dress pant yoga pants. Every day. They’re amazing. I have 5 pairs. I will refer you if you want some (then we both get $15 off). 

Coming out of the baby closet status: Way back at the beginning of our TTC process, we had a plan. No one knows until we have a confirmed heartbeat, and then only immediate family and best friends. Everyone else after the 1st trimester. Lol, then we were infertile and a lot more people got into that “in the know” inner circle. 

We decided to tell parents and BFFs who were in the know re: our IVF cycle pretty quickly. At this point, we’ve told my parents (via FaceTime – it was so awesome to see their reactions. This is their first grandbaby and they are so excited for us), Em’s dad, BFFs who are also pregnant/8 days ahead of us/also did FET, my best friend, and 3 of my best work friends. We are telling Em’s mom in person this weekend since we are traveling to Philly to spend Easter with her. I plan to tell my siblings (all 3 at once via Google Hangout ideally) after the 8 week ultrasound? Ugh, long answer, sorry. TL;DR – parents and BFFs know, everyone else can wait. 

Have you started to show yet? Nope. Still bloated from the meds though.

Sleep: I’m generally more tired – going to bed earlier and napping occasionally. Right now I’m ready to hit the hay and it’s exactly 7:45. 

Best moment this week: Baby’s first ultrasound today! It was amazing and such a relief to see the little dude and his/her little heartbeat. Long useless story, but our doctor was in California last week on vacation and I got a call/voicemail at 11pm last night that her flight was canceled because of the snow storm (don’t even get me started on how I had to scrape off my car on March 21st) and that they’d call to reschedule. Cue the panic because I barely made it through the weekend waiting for this ultrasound. Anyway, when I called this morning to reschedule they told me to come in anyway and that I’d see the nurse after instead of my RE. Phew. 

So we had our first ultrasound and everything looks good! It’s making things feel so much more real for me. Here are the stats:

• Crown to Rump measurement: 5.8mm
• Measuring at: 6 weeks 3 days (right on target!)
• Heartbeat: 116 bpm

 

They printed pics fand gave them to us in this adorable “Baby’s First Pictures” envelope!

Love how the tech labeled the baby. Lest we lose track.

   

Miss Anything? Wine

Movement: nope

Food cravings: Not really. I really wanted avocado? So maybe that?

Anything making you queasy or sick? Not really. Kind of the thought of sweet things. 

Symptoms: Honestly, not really. Today more than any other day I’ve had some “nausea,” but in a really low key way. Just kind of excessive salivation and low grade nausea. Helped by eating something. My breasts are only minimally tender (my nurse today said this is because my body has already absorbed the progesterone or something?). Today I peed like every hour but I also drank a lot of water. I’m thirsty all the time, that’s maybe a symptom? And fatigue. But they’re all sometimes and they’re all really nothing to write home about.

Purchases: Nothing. Not ready for that yet. Em did buy new tires, and she basically begged the sales guy to upsell her to the most expensive ones because “precious cargo,” so perhaps that counts.

Looking forward to: Another ultrasound in 2 weeks and getting to the point where we can share the good news.

So, hey, that was an enjoyable exercise. Other updates from today’s ultrasound/appointment:

• I’m probably allergic/sensitive to the adhesive on the damn estrogen patches. Duh, I could have told you that. They leave rashes for over a week and itch like hell. I did bloodwork today to see how my estrogen absorption is. I may get to stop te patch and up the pills (or potentially take the pills vaginally? Which seems weird). I’ll find out tomorrow
• They’re also testing my progesterone just to see, which I’m glad about. 
• I’m allowed to have orgasms again, praise the lord.
• I made another ultrasound appointment for April 5th, at which point I will be 8 weeks 4 days. I’ll get to see my RE then too (barring another freak snow storm), and will then “graduate” to my regular OB/GYN.
• I haven’t chosen an OB/GYN yet so I should probably get on that. 

I’m trying my best to enjoy early pregnancy instead of worrying it all away. Today’s ultrasound is helping. I’m getting pretty excited. Out little guy is due November 11, 2016! 

Things that make this feel real

So I’ve been having a hard time with this pregnancy-after-infertility thing. It is really hard to just happily accept that I’m pregnant without constantly looking over my shoulder for someone who is going to run up and shout “April fools!” or something awful like that.

BUT I am really working on it and, little by little, I’m actually starting to feel like this might be real. God I hope it stays real.

Things that have made me feel that feeling in the last couple of days:

• Today’s beta showing a normal doubling time.
• Telling my mom and dad via FaceTime last night (man, that was really awesome. They are so happy)
• Telling our best friends, who made that same phone call to us only a week ago.
• Thinking about experiencing each stage of pregnancy with my best friend. And maternity leave!
• Talking about money and daycare and nursery things with Em, and freaking out a little but also feeling excited.
• Having 2 colleagues announce their pregnancies this week and not feeling that awful sinking feeling that I’ve become accustomed to over the past 2 years, instead feeling excited for them and excited for me.

I’m still kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop, but those feelings are happening less frequently, and I’m spending a lot of time smiling to myself at my desk or in the car, just thinking about how, at least right this second, I am pregnant.

Beta #2

I woke up early and trudged into the lab to wait in line with the old people this morning again for HCG beta #2. A nurse just called with my results and the number is … (drumroll) … 622.

Beta #1 was 306
Beta #2 is 622

That’s a doubling time (according to the internet) of 46.9 hours.

My initial reaction was that it seemed a little slow, but most places I’ve looked online (ugh, get off Google, Katie) say that under 1200, betas typically double every 31-72 hours. So I guess it’s good!

One more test on Friday and then I get a whole week “off” before my ultrasound/RE appointment on 3/21.

9dp5dt

 

• That’s getting darker right? Like I’m still pregnant? (Those words don’t feel real to me)
• I’m dying inside having to wait for Monday for my blood test. What beta numbers should I expect at 12dp5dt? 
• Also do I have to wait til Monday to find out when the orgasm moratorium is lifted. Because, really. 
• I never thought I’d be the kind of person who takes a test every day and saves them to compare. No judgement, just didn’t think I’d do it. Then I did. And I’m not sorry. 
• Is it too early to download a pregnancy app?  

Hello, and Where We Are

I’m glad I finally broke down and started a blog to document this whole TTC thing. I like to read, I like to write, and I love to procrastinate. Sounds like a perfect storm for blogging, so here I am. While I am absolutely clueless as to how long this blog will last or what direction it will head in, I’m glad I’m at least starting out with somewhere to record my thoughts – and hopefully find some folks to cheer on and commiserate with.

I think it prudent to begin with where we are thus far:

I have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), which is a common, likely genetic, endocrine disorder that causes fertility issues due to anovulation (aka NOT ovulating, at least not regularly). PCOS is characterized by lots of weird and annoying things like excessive hair growth (not on the head – that would be too convenient – think more on the face, arms, back …), irregular periods, and “central obesity” (aka being overweight particularly in the midsection/torso area). Anyway, this pesky little acronym is going to make things difficult for me in the baby making arena. Thus, it is likely a waste of time and money for my wife and me to try temping/charting and inseminating at home, as my cycles are weird and ovulation is not guaranteed. SO, all that being said, our path thus far had to start with a series of medical appointments.

I hit up my primary care doctor first, hoping that she would prescribe meds that I had taken years ago – progesterone and then Metformin – to get me having a period and hopefully ovulating. Of course, she wanted to run a bunch of tests first, then referred me to a gynecologist. The GYN’s primary concern was that I get a period (I hadn’t had one in a few months) – he was not really concerned with or thinking about getting me pregnant – his focus was on me not developing any pre-cancerous situation by not shedding my lining for too long (I can get on board with that). When I asked, he then referred me to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) to get things rolling in the baby making department.

That brings us to a couple of weeks ago – the wife and I saw my RE for a consultation. She was lovely, answered all of our questions, and quelled some of my fears (particularly the “I’m never going to have a baby ever because my body hates me” fears). Annoyingly, though, she jumped right in talking about inducing ovulation with Clomid and what the risks and benefits are, etc … Whoa whoa, hold the phone. It seemed like a jumping to conclusions given that we don’t actually KNOW that I’m not ovulating. Luckily, she was great when I asked if we had to jump right into Clomid. She started me on a “trial” of Metformin for a few months. I’m hopeful that it will kick start my hormone loop and get my body back in business a bit more naturally. Prior to my recent dry spell (literally), I had been having a period every month (consistent but not regular?). So I am hoping that I do have the chance of jumping into a somewhat regular cycle on Metformin. Of course – if that doesn’t work – Clomid, here we come.

Does anyone have Metformin success/not-so-much-success stories?