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Monthly Archives: April 2014

2dpiui

“Only” 12 days to go …

Just a quick update that my temps are rising. It seems slow to me but in comparing to last session, each temp rise at 1 and 2 dpo was close to the same. I’m not counting myself in or out for a few more days – I need to see the big picture pattern.

Symptom spotting? Trying to avoid it. I’ve noticed twinges, mostly on my left side (which is where I’m pretty sure I felt myself ovulate from).

Distractions? I’m working on it. Work is crazy right now so that helps. I’ve been eating pineapple (is that a wives tale? I love pineapple so I don’t actually care) and my wife has been doting 🙂

We are headed on a little (4 day) vacation to LA tomorrow, so that should provide a nice distraction! I’m pumped for the warm weather, and less than pumped for the cross-country flight.

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Today’s Obsession: BBT

Of course I need something to worry about.

So, much like Decaf at My Little Happy Family, I did not get a temp spike today like I did after ovulation day last cycle. It literally went up maybe .2 degrees, but I took it twice and used the higher temp. Obviously that means I’m spending my day obsessing over whether or not I actually ovulated yesterday, and if not, whether the little swimmers would have made it to today.

Here’s my chart this month so far (excuse the wacky temps on the weekends – we traveled a bit this month and sometimes I sleep in):

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And last month’s:

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Given that my temp went up over a couple of days last month, I still feel like there is a chance I ovulated yesterday (hopefully) (or maybe that’s just what I have to tell myself so I don’t feel like I flushed $1000 down the vagina toilet). My Monday temp may very well have been artificially high because I had 2 glasses of wine on Sunday night, and barely slept a wink from all the anxiety. I am 99% sure I did not have a solid 4-hour chunk of sleep before temping (it was MAYBE 2 1/2 hours). Also both yesterday and today I temped at weird times (but it was probably only off by a half hour or so), and my CM is definitely drying up – with no EW or WCM in sight. Could all of those things account for a less-than-ideal rise today? Hoping for a better sign tomorrow.

Surprise!

IUI #1 was today instead of tomorrow – surprise!

I’m not sure I can even come close to writing in an organized fashion right now, so bear with me.

  • I was up tossing and turning all night last night, which is really notable for me as I am a ridiculously sound sleeper (I have literally slept through fire alarms). My poor wife was reminded just how sound a sleeper I usually am (and probably just how light a sleeper she is) and got just as little sleep. I was just too anxious to even be able to consider resting my brain for the night. Obviously all of the question marks surrounding the timing of my positive OPK yesterday left me really uneasy with the plan (actually, it really felt like there wasn’t a plan at all – just a vague idea of calling in the morning to set up an IUI for Tuesday, and somehow scheduling a same-day tank swap at the bank to keep us in the guarantee, which they don’t even do …). I knew that I would feel better just by talking to someone at the RE’s office, and that did turn out to be the case.
  • I did an OPK (internet cheapie AND Clear Blue digital) this morning, which was negative. The internet test still had a dark test line, but lighter than the control line, and the CB came up with a big fat O. This spun my already anxious brain into new heights of what-ifs. Also – if I hadn’t done that afternoon test they yelled at me about yesterday I wouldn’t have caught it at all!
  • I got my fav nurse, Tracy, on the phone around 8:15 this morning. They technically don’t open until 8:30 so that was good but I was still in crazy-freakout-anxious mode because nothing was resolved, and I was in the car on my way to work. Anyway, Tracy was great and consulted with my RE, and they both agreed that even the “subtle surge” of yesterday morning was enough to do the IUI today. So that became the plan.
  • As soon as the plan was to do the IUI today, it was like a magic wand had erased all of the tension in my body. It feels like that was the right thing to do, and it solved the issue that I hadn’t yet gotten to solving – the tank swap. Since the guarantee was good through today, we didn’t have to worry about it at all. (Phew)
  • Of course, last minute plans tend to throw all sorts of things out of whack – so I had a crazy morning trying to re-schedule my 10:00 patient, who was already en route from a whole other state … Long story short, I didn’t reschedule them – I just did a shortened eval and rushed out as soon as they stepped out of my office door to make my 11:45 IUI appointment. Afterward, I rushed back to be here in time for my 1:00 patient, who didn’t show. Go figure.
  • The IUI itself was interesting. I had a full bladder, and the only discomfort I felt was from the speculum. So maybe that was because of the bladder? Or maybe I just was distracted from any cervix pain by the duck lips in my vag. When she pushed the sperm in, it made the weirdest sound – is that normal? My wife cracked up at the sound of it, so if this IUI makes a baby, it will have had a very humorous start. The vial was SO SMALL – how could there have been enough sperm in there to make a baby?? Overall, it went much more smoothly than I was expecting. The nurse commented on my CM looking good (officially weirdest compliment I’ve ever received but I’ll take it), and his numbers sounded fine. The count was 29 million, and 52% motility. They said they look for anything over 20 million and 50% motility. I would have loved to hear that the motility was higher but I really have no frame of reference for what to expect.

If you got through all of that – good for you. If you scrolled to the end to get the important deets, here ya go:

  1. My surge is apparently short. Or weak. I don’t know. What does that mean? Nurse Tracy said I should ideally test mid-morning, once/day for best results. I think that may affect sperm retrieval from the bank if they need 24 hours notice though… I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.
  2. IUI #1 is officially over
  3. I am now in my very first TWW … let the Googling and symptom-spotting begin
  4. This is officially the closest I’ve ever been to pregnant
  5. Sperm makes a funny sound going in

Here’s to the two week wait! We’ve promised each other to be as normal as possible, distract ourselves, and not test at all (until the blood test on May 12) … feel free to make fun of me tomorrow when I start obsessing and buy a home pregnancy test. So glad I have a couple of wait buddies out here in the blog-o-sphere!

Timing obsession

Okay friends, help me out here.

So, as you know, I had what looked like a positive with a hint of doubt on my internet cheapie OPK first thing this morning. Now, “first thing” this morning was actually 10:30 because I slept in (it’s been a long week – I’m not usual such a slouch). I double checked with a digital and it was negative. Okay. So I went on with my day but couldn’t stop obsessing over whether it was actually positive and I was going to miss my chance this cycle, so I tested again when we got home from errands, around 3:00. That test was definitely positive, but I shot myself in the foot by testing at a weird time I think. Since it is a Sunday, I had to call the on-call RE (who I don’t know) to figure out scheduling. This on-call chick was maybe not the nicest. When she asked what time I tested positive and I told her 3:00, she asked when I usually test (ugh trick question to get me to admit that today was not on pattern …). Of course I sheepishly admitted that I usually test first thing and then when I get home, and she was like “why do you test more than once?” So now I feel awful, but also completely see how testing off schedule has sent me into a tizzy of “what if”a about my timing.

In the end, she told me that they do IUIs the next AM for positive OPKs in the morning, and IUIs the morning after for afternoon positives. So they want me to go in on Tuesday morning for my IUI.

Of course, now I’m obsessing about timing. What if I ovulate tonight? Will tues morning be outside of my window? What if my OPK is negative tomorrow AM? Does an IUI on the day after ovulation (assuming I O tomorrow) make sense? UGH!

Just to throw another kink into the situation, the tank guarantee ends at the end of the day tomorrow. So do I have to do another tank swap tomorrow afternoon to stay inside the guarantee for a Tuesday morning IUI even though I know the tank is technically good for 7 days? My head is spinning. Hopefully I can get my Actual RE on the phone first thing to figure this all out. Wish me luck.

Finally!

Finally surged this afternoon! Day 31, yeesh. Waiting for a call back from the RE on scheduling for IUI #1 tomorrow.

Also I was a bit of a loon and did an extra test this afternoon. This AM looked SO close to positive but was negative on the Clear Blue digital so I got a little obsessed with “catching” it … My RE is going to be so ashamed haha.

Here we go!

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Counting Blessings

It is SO easy to get caught up in the uncertainty and annoyances of TTC, and I feel that my thinking has become very anxious and negative overall.  I would usually describe myself as an extreme optimist, so these negative feelings and the doubt creeping in really affects me. A little reminder to look at the big picture went a long way for me today, and I am really happy to be getting my TTC thoughts back in the positive category.

I was watching Mystery Diagnosis (UGH I KNOW … my weird guilty pleasure that I can only indulge in on my day off when dear wife is not home), and they profiled a woman who, at the start, was dealing with fertility issues. She went off the pill and her natural cycles weren’t coming back … Anyway, it ended up that she had a brain tumor (sitting on her pituitary gland) that she never would have found if not for trying to start her family. I just couldn’t stop thinking about how much more she suddenly had to deal with and how scary and hard it must have been … not to mention having to put TTC plans aside. She went on to make a full recovery and have two beautiful children, which is a lovely and hopeful ending, but wasn’t really the reason the piece affected me. Moreso, it reminded me a) to count my blessings. I am relatively healthy and am at least sometimes able to ovulate on my own, and I don’t have any larger health issues that are precluding me from TTC or getting on with my life; and b) that there is a larger picture here and that I am TOO focused on the minutia leading up to it. I need to let go and let things happen, because it’ll all come together in whatever way it is supposed to.
*(It is likely that right now you are thinking “what a wack-a-doodle this chick is for not only watching Mystery Diagnosis, but having some sort of spiritual epiphany over it” … and I can’t argue with ya there.)

OK so big picture epiphany rant aside, here’s the buzz:

  • I did not surge today.
  • I DID get more EWCM today – not a ton, but some which is enough for me right now, because it means my body is at least doing something in there.
  • I have decided to do OPKs twice per day – once when I wake up (around 6:30am), and again before dinner (around 6:30pm). I’m kind of paranoid about missing my surge. I think I read on Fertility Friend somewhere that LH usually surges over a 24-48 hour period, and that it usually starts early morning so a mid-day test is the best idea? I work in an outpatient clinic and it would be not only weird but also pretty difficult to test mid-day, so I’m sticking to my guns on this one but I think you can see what types of things I’ve been Googling on my day off …
  • I have been using the cheap-o OPK test strips (bought on Amazon) for the last 2 cycles. Our good friends donated an unopened pack of Clear Blue digitals because they are going to expire in July and they aren’t trying for #2 yet. So I cracked those open today because I was excited to learn how they work [oh god, who am I?], and that was a fun part of my day. I think these are the kind with the flashing face when you are “approaching,” which my RE warned me was going to send me into a panic so I’ll reserve judgement until that happens, but it was nice to not have to set my timer to know when to read it.
  • I’m hoping to convince my lady to go to sushi tonight because [knock on wood] [hopefully] I’ll be inseminating in the next few days and not able to eat it for at least 2 weeks and hopefully more. I think my convincing powers are good so here’s hoping for a yummy dinner date.
  • Probably the most ridiculous difficult thing I’m trying to do right now in my “preconception planning” is to quit Diet Coke. Dear Lord this is a difficult task. I tried to cut down to 1/day this week and was successful for a total of 2 days. Today I’ve only had 1 but we’re mostly likely definitely going out to eat and it is SO HARD to resist DC at restaurants. I’m not even at all concerned about cutting coffee out – I hardly ever drink it. Sushi? I’ll miss ya, but at least I can go to a Japanese restaurant and eat the cooked stuff during our TWWs and eventual 9MW. But Diet Coke … you are my Everest. I’m thinking maybe I should force myself to blog about how I’m doing. Will y’all hold me to it?

Update: yay raw fish! (I forgot to take the pic until I’d downed a bunch … guess I was a bit hangry).

Update #2: I had water with dinner. Yay me.

sushi

Y’all are the best

Thanks for all the advice, ladies! It’s amazing having this little community to bounce things off of/learn from/commiserate with. So here’s the update:

I called my doctor’s office and spoke with the nurse we’ve been seeing. I fully expected her to cancel the IUI plan and have me come in for the baseline testing that is ordered for next month. Instead, she was super nice and not at all worried about my late O. She said that because I have a pattern of late ovulation as it is, a little bit later is not worrisome to her. She did say to call again if I don’t get a positive OPK in another 5 days. It was really comforting to hear. I literally felt my body release a bunch of tension after talking to her. She said what I suspected, which is that they would likely put me on Clomid if this cycle doesn’t progress normally. That totally makes sense, but I really want to give my body at least 1 shot at conceiving without Clomid. And so does she, so she’s totally behind waiting for my O this month – whenever that may be. So I’m relieved that this cycle is still a-go, albeit a bit later than we had hoped.

Before hanging up, nurse Tracy said to me, “a watched pot never boils!” Ugh so true. I’m ovulation obsessed and I need a distraction to let my body do its thing!

After talking to nurse Tracy, we called the cryo bank and scheduled a tank swap to keep the swimmers on ice for another 5 days. A mere $30 later, we are now all set through Monday. EWCM has made an appearance, but my CM this month is acting kind of bipolar so I’m not putting much stock in it. I don’t think tomorrow is the day … if I was a betting gal I’d put my money on this weekend (CD 30 or 31). I guess we’ll see whether or not I should start gambling.

SO … In summary, I’ve learned that a little commiseration and expert advice can go a long way, and that late O is a-okay as long as it fits in a pattern of typically late Os. The nurse actually said that she has worked with women who are using Clomid or even injectables, and their bodies respond at their own pace – sometimes still not O’ing until day 30. She said that as long as my luteal phase has an acceptable length she doesn’t have a reason to worry.

Crossing my fingers that my body gets in gear before this tank expires too! On to more waiting …

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*sidenote: I haven’t figured out how to put images in the middle of my post when I’m posting from my phone. I think the answer is that I can only do it if I put the image in as I’m writing rather than as an afterthought … But whaddya gonna do? 🙂

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