RSS Feed

Monthly Archives: July 2014

BFN

I’m in Portugal but feeling the need to post a quick update. Took a FRER this morning and it was starkly negative. No sign of my period yet but hopefully this at least gives me the freedom to go a little more crazy tonight to make myself feel better before jumping into the next cycle.

Sigh. Onward and upward.

Advertisements

2WW 2.0

CD23
1 dpiui
2 dpo

It’s been 73 days since my first two week wait. Is it weird that I counted that? I really didn’t think I’d be going this long between tries!

My IUI was yesterday morning. This go around went so much smoother than the last overall. After I got my surge, I called the cryobank storage and set my pick up time for first thing the next morning (they require 24 hrs notice). I called my RE and scheduled my IUI for 11am. I really wanted it to be a bit earlier, but they need at least an hour (they schedule an hour and a half) to prepare the sperm sample. So I planned to drop the tank off at 9:30 and wait around for the 11am procedure. It was SO NICE that this fell on my day off. The difference between last cycle and this one is palpable – last time I tried to cancel my AM patient and they were already on their way from a whole other state, so I just cut them off really early and rushed there, then had to rush back to make it for my PM patient … it was maybe not the most serene environment for fertilization :). This time, the only thing I had to change was my acupuncture appointment.

Of course, things can’t be perfect, and it wouldn’t be right if I wasn’t obsessing over something, right? So i use OPKs pretty much first thing in the morning. It’s hard for me to do it at work, and I know that I HAVE to test before noon because otherwise the cryobank can’t schedule me for pick up first thing (which is necessary for my clinic). ANYWAY, my test on Tuesday morning was negative, and Wednesday morning was positive. The internet cheapie looked almost totally positive anyway. Since my RE said that “even a subtle surge” counts, I was already raring to go for Thursday. I confirmed with a CB digital around 9am, which was positive. Anyway, around 4 or 4:30pm I started feeling major ovulation pain on my right side. I took this as mostly a good thing – I’m glad I’m O’ing from my right this month, since my left was the one with the cyst so I don’t trust her as much.

The thing that I then started to obsess about was whether I was ovulating too early. I thought it took 24 hours from the surge (but, of course, I could have started surging immediately after my negative test the day prior and only caught the tail end of it on Wednesday morning – putting a Wednesday evening ovulation within the realm of possibility). So then I was Googling things like “does ovulation pain happen before, during, or after ovulation?” etc. I tried to put my mind to rest about it and go to bed thinking peaceful thoughts. I was channeling my acupuncture sessions and even tried to sleep on my back with a pillow under my knees like I do in acupuncture. 

When I woke up on Thursday morning and took my temperature, it had spiked way up overnight. So I guess I did, in fact, ovulate on Wednesday evening. Despite everything else seemingly going perfectly, I was thinking about the timing thing all morning. The nurse who did my IUI wasn’t worried at all and said I should stop Googling things (fair point). I do feel very confident that I didn’t ovulate BEFORE 4pm at all. This cycle the ovulation pain/sensation was really clear and very obvious. It lasted at least until I went to bed, with the worst of it being between probably 5 and 7pm. So overall, I think I got the insemination in there while the egg was still viable, so I don’t think I flushed money down the vagina toilet this time around. My nurse said “I feel good about this one” – so take that with a grain of salt but it sure did make me feel nice 🙂

Also, the donor’s count was much higher than last time! 63 million sperm in that little vial! I think it was maybe 29 million last time, and 52% motility. The motility this cycle was 46%, but with such a high sperm count that’s still really good. 

SO anyway, now we wait (I’m sorry, aren’t we always waiting for something while TTC?). I’m still deciding whether I will drink while overseas or not. I’ve read a lot online (should I trust this?) that even if you are pregnant, those first weeks the embryo is not yet attached to your bloodstream at all, so drinking is a-ok. The whole “drink til it’s pink” idea. My nurse yesterday said, “just treat your body like you’re pregnant. Don’t smoke, cut down on caffeine, don’t drink … you know.” So I don’t know. I would only have a glass or two of wine here and there if I did drink, but I also don’t want to do it if there is any chance at all that it could affect my chances. Thoughts? I tend to err on the side of caution. 

I do like this two week period of being allowed to believe that I might actually be pregnant. Please let this be the one! Hey – it could happen.

 tumblr_m8rr5v5kf91ro8ysbo1_500

One Year … and Updates

I started this blog post a week and a half ago. I’m not sure why I haven’t been posting, or why I never posted this, but here goes:

I don’t think I’ve talked about it much here, but my wife and I became foster parents last year. It was an amazing experience, and a huge milestone in our relationship with each other. We started thinking about fostering in October of 2012, and by May 2013 we were licensed and ready to go. Then, one year ago today (edit: not really today, actually a week and a half ago), we got a phone call that changed our lives forever. It was actually our third placement call, though the first two hadn’t worked out – one sibling set got placed with a family that didn’t need daycare, the other sibling set we said no to because they were out of our age range and we weren’t physically ready for that. But back to today (the figurative today), last year. We got a call. A baby girl, not yet 11 months old, had been removed early that morning and they were looking for a placement that day. One year ago. We said yes, the world flipped over entirely, and we became mamas. All in the span of about an hour.

As I’m sure you can surmise, we are no longer foster parenting that beautiful little girl. She lived with us for 2 months. She gave us the most joy we’ve ever had, and her subsequent removal caused us the most pain. We were entirely aware that our chances of being her forever family were slim to none – her goal was reunification with her family. We weren’t pre-adoptive parents, we were in it to provide temporary care – to help our community on a very concrete and immediate level. Yes, it was very difficult to say goodbye. Unfortunately, we weren’t really able to grieve and work through her leaving, because the circumstances of her leaving were very not ideal. Although we were prepared for the loss, it hit us in ways we hadn’t prepared us for. And afterward, we were left with this substantial loss. We were mamas without a baby. I can’t believe it’s been a year. I really don’t have much else to say about that, except that it would make it all the more meaningful if we were to get pregnant this cycle. I miss being a mom, and I miss that little one, every single day.

So onto the here and now:

  • We went to my best friend’s wedding this weekend and it was an absolute blast. Major happiness hangovers all around. I can’t believe how lucky I am to have such beautiful, compassionate, fun, phenomenal people in my life. I’m also glad I didn’t ovulate before or during the wedding (I was totally convinced I would – I started getting EWCM last Wednesday).
  • Today is CD21 and I got a positive OPK (internet cheapie mostly positive first thing this AM, Clear Blue digital positive at 9am) today. I’m impressed with my body for ovulating (hopefully) earlier than usual! This is the earliest surge I’ve had since I started charting.
  • IUI 2.0 is scheduled for tomorrow morning! Tank pick-up at 9am, drive right to the clinic by 9:30 to drop it off for prep, and IUI scheduled for 11am.
  • In a perfect twist of fate, my day off is tomorrow so I am not at all stressed about ovulation happening on a weekday. I do, however, have to change my acupuncture appointment (it is also scheduled for 11). Any thoughts on whether I should go to acupuncture immediately before or immediately after my IUI?
  • I’m still scheduled to leave the country for a conference next Friday, so the end of my 2WW and my official test date will fall while I’m overseas and away from the wife. I’m trying to decide if I’ll bring a test with me and test there or just wait to see if my period arrives and if not, rely on the beta test when I return. Hard choices! I’m sure I’ll end up testing (I have no patience at all). After my last IUI, my period came a full 2 days early, which is very weird because my luteal phase has been a very consistent 13 days other than that 1 cycle. Anyway, AF is scheduled to arrive during the conference so that’s fun.

Send some baby dust my way, ladies! I really hope this one works. Even though it’s only our 2nd “attempt,” I feel like we’ve been trying since December (my first visit to the Doctor to get the ball rolling). I really thought we’d have more than 2 attempts in by July! I’m trying my best to put aside those thoughts and just think fertile and sticky thoughts.

AbstractIrony

My life turned out the opposite of what I expected, and that's okay.

The Not So Southern Southerner

The Musings of a Lesbian Pagan Mom in the South

A Quest in Queer Parenting

Navigating our Journey to Become Mama & Mommy in a World of Mommy & Daddy

Becoming Mommy and Mama

Two ladies on a baby adventure

One Day At A Time

Our Infertility Journey

the OCD infertile

Unorganized Chromosomes. Organized Life.

At Home With Joanna

Life, Motherhood and Everything in Between

The Wannabe Lesbian Moms

Our journey from being two lesbians in love to becoming mombians

2ndaryclass Citizen

A little more help the second time around...

Queer Conceptional

Two women making babies, raising children

Ladies of leisure make babies

Previous world travellers "settling down" .... Follow us on our baby making journey.

lifeloveandbabymaking

The next episode in our adventures together.

Adventures of a Mom with a Wife

from making the baby to raising the child in a 2 mom family

thelesbianmommydiaries

Join us as we embark upon our journey of reciprocal IVF!

Family Values Lesbian

God-fearing gay girl in love with a God-fearing gay girl

Motherhood & Everything Else

pregnancy, motherhood, marriage, and life after miscarriage

Star In Her Eye

raising a rare girl

Solo Mum Blog

Single woman having IVF to become a mum - UK blog

thisisournrml

marriage, wanderlust and a gayby

the longest journey

unexplained infertility, miscarriage, and my journey through IVF

Striving to Bmore

A journey of fitness and health

Project Buddha Baby

our journey to start a family

Project Tiny Human

Two lesbians walk into a fertility center.....

ashieoisms

Your daily bowl of ashie-o's.

Grilled Cheese (& Other Things That Make My World Go 'Round)

The blog of a young woman in her late 20s dealing with life.

Eventual Momma

From infertility struggles to parenthood, and everything in between

Bosma Life

First comes love than comes marriage than comes secondary infertility?!?

Managing my Moments.

Welcome to my circus

Green Youth Today

Sharing with you my life, my dreams and my thoughts as well as information concerning food, green methods, and helping with earths preservation

Boss babies

Two mommies, and an executive boss baby waiting for a junior boss baby.

Baby Dreams and Love.

Raising my rainbow after infertility, IVF and pregnancy loss 🌈

Odds Are Against Us

A Reciprocal IVF Love Story

Mama Deux / Two Mamas

Bumping along nicely...

Life with Two Pickles.

Navigating life with our twin girls. --> --> --> --> --> --> --> Look right --> --> --> --> --> --> --> for the menu

maybebabydotme

Fertility, trying to conceive

Queer and Conceiving

Two (Wannabe) Moms on a Journey to Parenthood

Two Mummas and a Bubba

The story of trying to become parents and my thoughts and stories inbetween

about my eggs

blogging on infertility + motherhood

Papa, Eden & Me

Raising our fairy princess, blogging about our adventures after a long infertility journey.

Mad About Moreau

The Marital Shenanigans of Erin & Heidi

Adventures In Loserville

Dysfunctional Lesbian Chronicles / Mildly Amusing Stuff

spiritbabycomehome

Misadventures in recurrent pregnany loss & reproductive immunology

teamhambowl

The making, baking and loving of 2 lab babies

Ditch the Bun

Not your average Librarian