38 weeks down, 1 to go

Well, I continue to be an awful blogger but what are you going to do? I’m on an every-10-weeks roll at the moment 

🙄To be honest, I feel like I’m going to continue to suck at this for quite some time, but I really miss keeping up with all of you. If any of you are interested in linking up on Facebook or instagram, I’d love that. Just shoot me an email and tell me who you are. Inthebabycloset AT gmail DOT com

I can’t believe how the third trimester has flown by. People kept telling me it would drag, which seems insane to me now. It may have something to do with us having booked all of the things for all of the weekends in the third tri? Either way I can’t believe I’m about to have this baby.

And about that, I am totally about to have this baby. I have a scheduled C-Section on Friday (Nov 4), which is in less that a week. OMG. I should probably start at the beginning of that story though, huh?

I’ve felt so lucky that this pregnancy has gone so well. I feel like I’ve had minimal crappy stuff – not too much morning sickness, I’ve been generally comfortable, no major complications, etc. I think around 33-34 weeks I suddenly felt like I had gotten GIANT overnight. That seemed pretty par for the course with the third trimester but it was the first I had felt uncomfortable. Anyway, fast forward to my 37 week appointment, which I had with a new midwife because my OB broke her ankle (story for another day), and she says that I’m measuring at 40 weeks. Apparently the week prior (36 weeks) I had been measuring at 38 but no one had ever told me what the measurement was prior to 37 weeks. They would just take it and move onto the heartbeat-listening-bit. 

Anyway, they had me go back for an ultrasound to do some more precise baby measuring, which I did on Tuesday. Now, I know that ultrasounds can be off by a pound or so in either direction, but my baby was apparently measuring at 9lbs 10oz at the tender age of 37 weeks 4 days. So that’s how we came to the C-Section. I honestly feel good about the decision. I’m a little disappointed that I won’t have a vaginal birth and that my baby won’t get the benefits of being squeezed through the birth canal, but I also know that a big baby (and honestly, this baby COULD be as big as 11+ lbs when he/she is born) and my narrow pelvis don’t mix, and I’d much prefer to just do a c-section if there’s a chance for trauma to baby and a higher chance that I’ll have failure to progress and end up with an emergency C anyway. My doctor mentioned that perhaps they “missed” me developing gestational diabetes after the 28 week test. They had actually tested me early at 20 weeks because my PCOS put me at higher risk. Then again at 28 weeks. If I’m lucky enough to be pregnant again so,exam, I’m definitely advocating for a late test. GD actually ramps up at 32-36 weeks, so maybe that’s when I got it. It’s odd because (aside from my big baby) I haven’t had any symptoms, and I passed the first 2 1-hr glucose challenge tests with flying colors. But who knows. And my doctor said that at this point it doesn’t make a difference. But either way, this baby will be here by Friday and we will not be using any Newborn size clothes! Good thing I didn’t wash those ones. 

I’m definitely a little nervous about the C-Section and what to expect, so any stories or tips are appreciated! I am glad that I can narrow down my worrying to only c-section related things, rather than worrying about both haha. At this point Em and I are focusing on getting things ready at home and wrapping up a week earlier than expected at lovely thing about a planned c-section is that we have been able to give our out-of-town parents some time to plan their trips. Of course, I could always go into labor on my own between now and Friday. The best laid plans and all that …

For posterity, my bumpdate:

How far along? 38 weeks 1 day

Baby is the size of: Well, the app says a Pomeranian, but let’s be real her, my baby is the size of a 1 month old ACTUAL BABY

Total weight gain/loss: Just over 30lbs 

Maternity clothes: 🙄 never going back

Sleep: I’m sorry, what? What is sleep? Everyone says my body is preparing me for baby but I really wish it would prepare me by letting me get some sleep. I’m up about every 2 hours to pee and toss and turn. Also it’s so hard to get out of bed! 

Best moment this week: Finding out I’m going to meet my baby on Nov. 4

Miss anything? Sleep. I have a feeling I’ll be missing that for quite a while though 🙂

Movement: This baby loves to move. Things are starting to get kind of uncomfortable some of the time. I think it’s because the baby most certainly dropped, so some movements are putting a lot of pressure on my pelvis.

Food cravings: Sugary drinks. Which I’m certain is not helping with the whole big baby thing, so I’m trying to avoid them.

Anything make you queasy or sick? Nope

Symptoms: Lots of swelling in my hands and feet. My right foot/ankle definitely has been more swollen that the left, and I’m jamming my feet into my roomies shoes every day. I’m definitely also feeling lots of pelvic pain and pressure, especially when I stand up/walk after sitting for a while. The peeing all day and night thing hasn’t let up at all, and my lower back hurts every day but hasn’t been debilitating. 

Purchases: After a second (FRIENDS-themed … guys, it was awesome) baby shower and a big Amazon order, I think we have everything we need. Em and I did a little clothing shopping the other day to get some more 3 month sized stuff as well. The nursery is set up and ready to go, and I think we are in business. As ready as we can be to bring home a totally dependent little human!

Looking forward to: Meeting our son/daughter!

29 weeks oh my goodness

Wow, I am a terrible blogger. I am not sure where the last 10 weeks went but I’m here now and that’s what counts I hope?

In all honesty, I totally know where the weeks went. Summer happened, which means that we haven’t stopped to catch a breath for 3 months. Em and I have had something big to do (travel out of town, have guests staying with us, big events) every weekend since forever, and there’s no end in sight. In fact, I think the next weekend we have nothing huge to do is October 22, which give us exactly 3 “nothing” weekends between now and baby’s expect arrival. AHHH

Rather than trying to fill in every little thing that has happened since I was 19 weeks pregnant, I’m just going to go with a current update. Life-wise, I just got back from a weekend in Cleveland where my mom and sisters threw me a baby shower. Em didn’t come because we couldn’t find a weekend where we were both free to actually have the shower (see above) so we agreed to divide and conquer on this one. It was a lovely shower – totally beyond what I expected. Guests were asked to ship their gifts because we live in Boston and taking big things on a plane was basically not going to happen. But everyone brought a baby book to start our library, and the shower was book themed.

Adorable book-themed foods

My sisters went all out with the Pinterest inspired theme. It was a brunch shower, so they had an egg casserole (Green Eggs and Ham), muffins (If You Give a Moose a Muffin), veggies (Peter Rabbit), fruit in the shape of a caterpillar (The Very Hungry Caterpillar), Hershey kisses (A Kissing Hand), rainbow goldfish crackers (The Rainbow Fish), and a guessing game (Guess How Much I Love You). My sister also made one of those creepy/hilarious/awesome watermelon babies.

Em and I are both getting more and more excited about baby as things are getting more real. We had a little freak out about daycare but have since kind of maybe figured something out. We are on “the list” for a center that is really close to us. It’s a stretch to afford, but we are able to save some money by doing just 3 days/week and doing under 8 hour days (Em is going to be flexible and drop off just after 9/pick up right before 5). They can’t guarantee us a spot, but seemed confident that a number of spots would be opening in March/April. Given that we need to start in February, we’ll probably end up filling in with a short term nanny or something. We visited a bunch of home daycare providers, and just really didn’t love any of them. The one that we did like required us to come full time (or at least pay for it), so it wasn’t enough less than the center to feel good about. A few of the home daycares were really just awful. Em and I visited all of them together, and Em had set up all of the appointments. One of the places we visited a) forgot that we were even coming, b) was just not a warm fuzzy person anyway, and c) told me to call her when I had the baby and come back to visit with my husband. Uhhhhhh, who did she think Em was?! Just some assistant I hired to do all of my talking for me? What the hell. Anyway, daycare is terrifying and awful and I hate the idea of going back to work enough as it is so I hate the whole thing. I’m sure it’ll all come together, so I’m choosing not to stress about it anymore now that we have a sort-of plan.

So on to the bumpdate …

How far along? 29 weeks 4 days

Baby is the size of: A hawaiian pineapple

Total weight gain/loss: I think I have an overall gain of 8-10 pounds at this point.

Maternity clothes: All of them.

Coming out of the baby closet status: At this point everyone knows because I am obviously pregnant. I actually feel like people didn’t assume me pregnant out loud (they thought it but wouldn’t mention it without me mentioning it first) until about 2-3 weeks ago? I see new people every day because I see patients at a hospital. So I got to see a LOT of people look but choose not to say anything. I’m now at the point where people immediately ask when I’m due.

Have you started to show yet? I’m certainly obviously definitely pregnant.

Sleep: Aw man, sleep is rough. I get up 2-4 times each night. We did end up getting a new mattress – we got a Casper and totally love it. If anyone is in the market and interested in the Casper let me know because I can get you $50 off with a referral. Also my Snoogle is my saving grace. I didn’t have it with me in Cleveland over the weekend and totally noticed the difference.

 

The newest sleep issue is that I’m waking up to hip pain and having to flip over to my other side. Prior to this week, I’ve mostly been waking up to pee/because I was slightly uncomfortable. Now there’s the aspect of pain, which makes it a little harder to get back to sleep.

I feel like it sounds like I’m complaining – really more just trying to document. I actually really love being pregnant.

Best moment this week: The shower was really amazing. I felt so loved. I also came home from the shower to a clean house and to the guest room (soon-to-be-nursery) cleaned out and ready to be nested in. My wife and her dad had moved the guest bed into our office/memorabilia room (don’t ask – Em is a huge baseball fan and collector. And she is selflessly sharing her memorabilia room with our future guests) and cleaned out the now nursery entirely. Now all of our accumulated baby stuff is in the nursery! Unfortuantely, we haven’t yet gotten the furniture so it in no way actually looks like a nursery. We have a rolled up rug that we haven’t put down yet, are waiting on a backordered dresser (should be here in a week or two), hoping to get a Labor Day deal on the crib this weekend so that’s not ordered yet, and waiting 6-8 weeks for the chair that my parents just ordered for us this weekend as a shower gift. I’m so excited to see it all come together and having the room empty and ready to fulfill its new purpose is so exciting. Can you tell I’m feeling the nesting urge hard?

Miss Anything? Wine, sushi, and oysters

Movement: I’ve been feeling kicks consistently since about 19 weeks. Around 22 weeks, Em was able to feel them from the outside and it was such an amazing moment. One of my favorite from this pregnancy. I’ve been counting kicks once a day(ish) when I remember to/have the time to slow down enough to actually track and time it. But I feel a ton of movement these days. I really love love love the feeling of my baby moving around inside of me. It just makes me so happy.

Food cravings: I started having a few real cravings? My first craving, and the most common one since, has been donuts. Can’t get enough of the sugary carbs with no nutritional value ::eye roll::

I’m still eating fruit like no one’s business as well.

Anything making you queasy or sick? Nope

Symptoms: OK so the more weird and annoying symptoms are starting to emerge …
–  Numb thighs: Whenever I walk or stand for too long, my outer thigh(s) (usually just my right one, but sometimes the left or both) go numb. This goes away if I sit down for even just a minute. My OB said that I’m trapping a nerve. It is a really strange sensation and I’ve had to limit activities that involve too much standing/walking.
–  Peeing: Total TMI ahead. Since around 19 weeks I’ve, for lack of a better term, been leaking urine (ugh hate how that sounds). Basically my bladder is obviously squished and kinked or something so I don’t get everything out when I pee. I’ve had to develop some acrobatic tricks – now I have to move and lean in every direction for a minute after I finish and hope I get it all out. I feel like no one talks about this (probably because it’s weird and gross), but I have no time for shame. I do allow myself some time for annoyance though haha. Anyway turns out Thinx (the period underwear) also have another brand called Icon that are designed for this very issue, so I bought a few pairs. I wish that the built in padding went up higher, but I otherwise recommend them if you are having this weird issue and are sick of panty liners. UGH
– Aches and pains: The aches and pains are starting to show up but are manageable. Mostly it’s lower back and hip pain when I’m sleeping.
– Swelling: I’m starting to notice swelling in my hands and feet, but pretty much only after I’ve been standing/walking a lot (especially out in the heat) or on an airplane. I took 2 airplane trips recently so I feel like this symptom is exacerbated by the flights. I am NOT wearing my wedding ring at the moment, but hoping that another day post-flight will get me back to ring-wearing size.

Purchases: Em and I had a fun nighttime adventure in Carters recently, just letting ourselves get excited and buy some clothes. We got only sale items and probably 5-6 things total? It was pretty exciting. And the shower gifts have been rolling in, which we are so grateful for. So we now have the pack n plan/infant station for our bedroom, a Baby Bjorn bouncer, 2 carriers (Bjorn One and K’tan), lots and lots of books, a few clothing items, a Boppy, a hamper, and some other assorted items that I can’t think of right now!

Looking forward to: I’m really looking forward to our Boston shower that our friends are throwing for us in a few weeks. We are also going camping this weekend which I’m excited (and a little trepidatious) about. We are bringing a battery operated air mattress, so hopefully it won’t be awful and uncomfortable.

I really hope I’ll be able to keep us this blogging thing through the third trimester. I really neglected the poor second trimester and want to give this one its due. So hopefully see you back here soon! Happy Tuesday 🙂

19 weeks and other musings

I wrote this first paragraph early last week, right after Orlando. I didn’t post it because I just kind of stopped writing after this paragraph and couldn’t finish. I’m going to post it now as is, but also do a bumpdate because I haven’t done one in forever and I want to remember these things.

First of all, I have so many feelings and thoughts about the tragedy in Orlando. I don’t think that I’m currently in the place where I can articulately share everything I’m thinking, and I know that others have articulated it all, probably better than I can. I’m mourning for members of our queer family whose lives were needlessly taken. I’m angry that people can easily and legally purchase assault weapons in this country, even when they are on terrorist watch lists. I’m confused by how some of the media has covered this tragedy – from not mentioning that it took place at a gay club, to what seems like an obsession with pinpointing one “reason” that this happened (terrorism vs. homophobia vs. mental illness). I’m sad at the deafening silence from most of my straight/cis friends and family members. I’m pissed at the people who are still ranting on about the “right” to own such ridiculous weapons with minimal to no controls or safety measures in place. But I’m also comforted to see some media outlets providing comprehensive coverage and discussing the complicated nature of the crime. I’m happy to see people coming together to support each other and to support the queer community. I’m moved by tributes to the victims and the outpouring of calls for policy change instead of just “thoughts and prayers.” It’s hard to sort through all of these feelings and have something coherent to say. It’s hard to think about my child being born into a world in which this can happen, a world where I was really starting to feel like I was safe. I don’t know how to comprehend but I do know that the way to move forward is with courage to make changes, love driving decisions instead of fear and hate, and pride.

I guess I just hope that we keep doing things now so that the world is a better place when this little one is in it.

How far along? 19 weeks 5 days

Baby is the size of: A zucchini or a mango

Total weight gain/loss: I lost about 7 pounds in the first trimester and have since gained about 8. So I’m +1 total, but I also haven’t gained in at least a week or two.

Maternity clothes: Yep. My pre-pregnancy shirts fit but are too short so I much prefer maternity shirts. Dress pant yoga pants are still working but I have to keep the band below my belly so they fall down a lot. The 2 pairs of maternity pants I have are preferable, so I’m probably going to need to get some more soon.

Coming out of the baby closet status: The info is out there and most people know. Much like coming out as queer, however, it keeps happening every day. I’m not pregnant looking enough for it to be an assumed fact I guess. Just today two people I work with came by and offered their congratulations, having just found out through the grapevine.

Have you started to show yet? I’m getting there. It’s obvious to me, but I was not a skinny person pre-pregnancy, and I tend to carry my weight in my abdomen, so I already looked a little pregnant. I am starting to get the more classically rounded belly look so hopefully I’ll look more pregnant than fat (not using this term negatively for myself – just a fact) in the next week or two. The maternity clothing probably helps my case 😉

Sleep: I’m still waking up at least once, but more commonly 2 or 3 times, each night. I did buy a Snoogle though, and I’m officially obsessed. It was so expensive and already has been worth every penny. I’m just a lot more comfortable. I’m definitely not sleeping on my belly anymore, so I guess my body got the memo that it was time to stop. I think that may be contributing to why I wake up a couple of times – I’m not necessarily uncomfortable, but I’m tossing and turning because I can’t sleep the way my body likes to.

I’m kind of looking forward to the hilarity that will probably ensue when I am bigger and trying to get out of bed with the Snoogle there. I’m hardly affected by the pregnancy now when it comes to mobility, but that pillow is a serious barrier to getting out of bed.

My next task is a new mattress. We’ve needed one for a while and just haven’t done it. Any recommendations? Someone at work highly recommended the Casper mattress today. Have any of you guys tried it?

Best moment this week: For some reason I just sat here for a few minutes trying to decide what my best moment in the past couple of weeks was … then I remembered we had our anatomy scan/fetal survey ultrasound last week!! As promised, it was very long and parts of it were boring/uncomfortable (in particular: trying to lie on my side on an ultrasound table while also watching the screen and not falling off), but getting to see our baby wiggling around in there was just magical. Poor Em was super bored for most of it. In the end, everything looked good. A doctor actually did the whole scan – I was expecting an ultrasound tech and then a doctor to review, but the doctor did the scan which probably made it shorter than it would have been so I’m grateful.

I’m not sure if I’ve discussed it here but we decided not to find out the baby’s biological sex. Mostly because we don’t care and it doesn’t mean anything, but also because we prefer relatively neutral clothing and stuff in general, and because I love a good surprise. The doctor was great about not using pronouns, and had us look away when she was taking  a look at the pelvis. They don’t record the sex anywhere so my no one else will be able to slip up later because they don’t know either. Phew.

We got some great pics of the baby and these are my two favorites:

Love this profile shot! Saying “hi” to his/her moms 🙂

LOOK AT THE TEENY TINY FOOT!

Miss Anything? Nope 🙂

Movement: After 2-3 weeks of thinking that perhaps maybe I was feeling something every once in a while … I’ve definitely been feeling the baby move around in there for the last few days (since this weekend). It’s to the point where I can be certain it’s the baby moving and not some other weird bodily function, and it lasts long enough that I can pay attention to it. It makes me so happy to be able to feel him or her rolling around in there. I had Em try to feel the other night while the little one was being particularly active, and she says she felt it from the outside too! We’ve tried a couple of other times without success, but I totally believe her that she felt that first one (it felt big from the inside too). It’s such a weird sensation and I’m totally obsessed with it.

Food cravings: I’m still totally obsessed with fruit and very disinterested in most meat (chicken and fish included). I’m trying to eat protein anyway – I know that a low carb/high protein diet is ideal to avoid gestational diabetes, which my OB has me obsessing about.

Anything making you queasy or sick? I’ve gotten sick first thing in the morning 2 or 3 times since the first trimester ended. The most recent time was just this week. It’s so weird and I’m fairly certain it’s related to a combination of dehydration and a super sensitive gag reflex, because it hasn’t had anything to do with feeling nauseous. Hopefully that’s it though (I keep saying that). Smells still overwhelm me, but not to the point where I’m feeling totally sick.

Symptoms: Movement, trouble sleeping, a little bit of lower back pain, bloating, and headaches (which are probably hydration related).

Purchases: Still obsessed with my Forester … hopefully that doesn’t wear off anytime soon. My mother bought us a bib from the iconic little shop in my tiny little town when we were home for a wedding a week and a half ago. She also “won” some Baby Bjorn swag at a silent auction, so we technically also have a baby carrier and a travel crib. 🙂

Looking forward to: I’m really looking forward to looking pregnant and not maybe pregnant/maybe fat.

14 weeks (almost)

I decided to post my 14 week update a day early because I don’t have to work today so actually have the time and energy 🙂 

How far along? 14 weeks tomorrow (so 13 weeks 6 days obvi)

Baby is the size of: a lemon

Total weight gain/loss: I’ve lost a couple of pounds. But my appetite is starting to come back so we’ll see 🙂

Maternity clothes: I don’t really need maternity clothes yet because I have dress pant yoga pants that I wear every day and my shirts still fit fine. But I’ve been looking online. And I might hit up Kohl’s today to check out their (probably minimal) selection.

Coming out of the baby closet status: Things are really rolling in the coming out department! The whole team (except the new OT who I don’t know very well) at work now knows. My boss was barely awkward and actually rather sweet and congratulatory, so that was really nice. I haven’t talked to HR yet but I will in the next week or so. I also told my close friends from college and we’re working on trying to get together with our little group of queer lady friends this weekend to tell them. Basically ticking off the important people who wouldn’t want to find out via Facebook. The big Facebook announcement will come soon as well – in the next week or two? Em doesn’t want to do a photo announcement but I really do. I love seeing them and am so excited to finally be in the club where I can do one. 

Have you started to show yet? So bloated all the time. What is with all the bloating?

Sleep: The exhaustion is fading but not gone. I still have my moments, but I’m really enjoying being able to stay up a little later.

Best moment this week: Telling people has been gloriously awkward (I don’t know why I’m so awkward when I say “I’m pregnant” – I think the emotions behind it really take me back to coming out when I was 18/19?) and so joyful. I also had my first appointment with an OB (the very first appointment was with a midwife) on Tuesday and got to hear the heartbeat again. It was in the high 150s/low 160s apparently. Man, hearing that heartbeat is just such an awesome confirmation. I don’t think I’ll be totally confident he pregnancy until I can feel the little one move. 

Oh, I’m also officially off of all medications except for the prenatal vitamin! I stopped the baby aspirin last week and the metformin on Tuesday. That was what I was really looking forward to meeting with an actual doctor for. My midwife had finally gotten back to me about the meds last week and told me to stop the aspirin and then to stop the metformin “when you’re 12 weeks” … but I was already almost 13 weeks when she sent it. That didn’t inspire a whole lot of confidence so I decided to wait until I could talk to the doctor to stop the metformin. I basically wanted to discuss whether staying on through the pregnancy was an option, as I’ve heard being on metformin may be helpful for women with PCOS when it comes to breast feeding, which is definitely something I’m worried about. The OB said that being on met may mask insulin resistance to a certain degree, and it’s not the most effective treatment for gestational diabetes. That’s enough of a reason for me. So anyway, no more drugs in this pregnant lady.

Miss Anything? Having my full energy. And wine. And sushi.

Movement: nope

Food cravings: Pickles and also fruit. All of the fruit. Especially watermelon. 

Anything making you queasy or sick? The smell of pretty much any cooked food, especially meats of all kinds. 

Symptoms: A nose like a dog, food aversions, improving nausea (though I did get sick this week), improving fatigue, headaches, sciatica. Oh the sciatica. 

Purchases: Nothing yet but I’m getting excited to think about registering.

Looking forward to: Telling people, coming up with a photo announcement, actually looking pregnant (I have a while for that one), feeling the baby move, registering for things.

12 and 13 weeks

Oops! Totally missed my update last week. Here I am though. Most exciting part of the last two weeks was my 12 week ultrasound (early genetic screening). Everything went well, we got to see our little one again, and my results came back as low risk. Little one was moving around like crazy and it was actually hard for the u.trasound tech to het his/her heartbeat because (s)he kept moving right when she had it lined up. She ended up coming back to it at the end and little one finally cooperated. 154 beats per minute! 

Obligatory creepy 3D image! little one was covering his/her face with their arm so no cute little face shot – but look! It looks like a real baby!


This weekend my parents are here. The weather in Boston is not cooperating (it’s been gloomy and rainy with no peeks of sunshine since mom got here on Wednesday) but it makes me so happy yo have them here. Lots of pregnancy excitement and little house projects getting done. 

On to the bumpdate! And a very Happy Mothers Day to all you moms, moms-to-be, moms at heart, and one day moms. I know Mothers Day is hard when you’re in the throws of infertility (man do I remember that) so I hope y’all are taking some time to yourselves and letting yourself feel whatever you need to feel this weekend. 

Oh, and happy derby day. 

How far along? 13 weeks 1 day (second trimester sometime this week?)

Baby is the size of: a freaking PEACH

Total weight gain/loss: still staying pretty steady 

Maternity clothes: Permanently in the land of stretchy waistbands because holy comfort, Batman. When I say permanently, I mean that I started before I got pregnant and never plan to stop. I have been looking online for maternity clothes which is depressing because where are all the maternity clothes for people who are not into leggings and flowy shirts? Sigh.

Coming out of the baby closet status: We are in sight of being fully out of the baby closet! We are officially telling people as we see them, and today the mass e-mails went out to the extended family. I have 30something aunts and uncles and 42 first cousins, so mass e-mails are really the only way to go. It feels great and also scary to have the information getting out more broadly. I’m planning on telling my boss and HR on Monday/next week, so wish me luck. My boss is the most awkward human alive so I’m not sure what to expect.

Have you started to show yet? Still rocking the bloat baby. But no worries, dress pant yoga pants to the rescue 🙂

Sleep: things are on the up and up. I can stay up a little later most days (I still have my exhausted days/moments)

Best moment this week: The ultrasound for sure last week, and my parents being here this week has made me really happy and excited about their transition to grandparent-hood.

Miss Anything? Nothing I can think of right now 🙂

Movement: nope

Food cravings: I’m really into pickles right now.

Anything making you queasy or sick? Smells mans. All food smells. 

Symptoms: Sensitive to smell, constipation (ugh), some fatigue but it’s improving, some nausea but it’s improving

Purchases: Nope.

Looking forward to: OB appointment this week (hearing a heartbeat again hopefully!), coming out of the baby closet entirely, and getting my appetite back.

10 weeks

Ah! Double digits! OK so the most notable thing about this week was my first appointment at my OB’s office. I may have already said this, but the way my OB office works is that I have an OB as well as a midwife – both of whom I’ll see/communicate with throughout the pregnancy.I met with the midwife for my first appointment. Anyway it was very long (lots of questions and background info and talking about testing options), but I am excited because I really liked the midwife! So that’s great. AND she was able to find the baby’s heartbeat with the doppler at the end of the appointment. I was SO excited to hear its little heart beating away. It took her a minute or two to find the heartbeat, during which time I was silently freaking the fuck out. But she did find it and it was very cool to hear. And I love getting those little bits of reassurance.

My next appointment is with an OB (not actually my OB that I picked because she didn’t have May availability – so I’m meeting with another one first) and is in 4 weeks. I opted to do the ERA screening for genetic issues (nuchal fold ultrasound and bloodwork), and was able to schedule that in 2 weeks, so I’m glad I’ll have another “reassurance” to look forward to rather than waiting a month for my next chance to hear the heartbeat. Hopefully all goes well with that ultrasound of course.

Okay, on to the bumpdate …

How far along? 10 weeks

Baby is the size of: a kumquat! Em has been calling it “Olive” for the past week. We’ll see if she decides to call it “Kumquat” or if that just feels too weird for her haha.

Total weight gain/loss: 0 (although I had 2 bags of Cheez-Its and some gummy worms today, so perhaps this won’t be the case tomorrow).

Maternity clothes: Permanently in the land of stretchy waistbands because holy comfort, Batman. When I say permanently, I mean that I started before I got pregnant and never plan to stop.

Coming out of the baby closet status: I swear I started out this pregnancy with the best of intentions to tell JUST family and a small group of close friends (5-10 people) about the pregnancy before the end of the first trimester. But, you know, the best laid plans …

So this week I ended up telling 2 new people at work. Like, good “workplace proximity associates” (a la Ron Swanson) who knew about us trying and I have lunch with regularly and even see outside of work. Which is really no big deal, but the list does seem to be growing faster than I want it to. Em and I also had dinner with friends who we don’t get to see that often, so we told the 2 of them as well, seizing the “in person” opportunity.

Overall, more people know than I had previously planned, but the circle is still pretty small and close. Getting excited that we can start to think about how we’ll announce to extended family and then everyone else in a few weeks!

Have you started to show yet? Still a bloat baby. But no worries, dress pant yoga pants to the rescue 🙂

Sleep: I’m still super exhausted all the time. I took a nap on my desk today after lunch. Still hitting the hay between 8:30 and 9pm.

Best moment this week: Getting to hear the little one’s heartbeat at my initial OB appointment! Also meeting the midwife and feeling more excited about the pregnancy overall (basically feeling like I can think past today and even picturing myself in the 2nd and 3rd trimester).

Miss Anything? Nothing huge this week. I still think about wine and get a little sad when I can’t have my glass with dinner, but I wouldn’t say I “miss” it. I do get a little jealous of people eating real sushi when I go out for sushi now – since I’m stuck with vegetables and cooked stuff.

Movement: nope

Food cravings: Today I had a strong need for snacks at like 10:30 and 4:00. Unfortunately, I decided on Cheez-Its in the morning, Cheez-Its in the afternoon, (Cheez-Its at suppertime …) with a bonus side dish of a bag of gummy worms. I regret it all. I have no idea why I wanted gummy worms because I don’t ever want gummy worms. But I ate them all. So maybe a craving? Or just temporary insanity. Poor choices.

Anything making you queasy or sick? Still feeling pretty apathetic toward food – especially meats of all varieties. I’ve noticed that the foods that don’t automatically turn me off are usually meat-free. I’ve never had any trouble with breakfast (which is usually an English muffin, an egg with a little cheese on one half, and some sort of fruit), and I’m much more likely to eat vegetarian meals without issue (like pasta dishes and such). Which is kind of strange because I don’t even like pasta. But there you have it.

Oh! Guys! I threw up for the first time on Wednesday. And probably/hopefully the only time? I really have not been feeling much nausea at all. It peaked week 8 and has decreased from there. BUT my gag reflex has been intense (anyone else notice this?) and on Wednesday morning I gagged twice while brushing my teeth. It didn’t happen right away, but it was the gag that set my stomach off and I held off getting sick for a good 2 minutes and then just gave in. It was very strange because I didn’t feel crappy before or after really. Just during. I know this is probably super annoying for people who have bad morning sickness to read, so I’m sorry for that. I know I’ve been lucky.

Symptoms: A little bit of queasiness still lingers, most notably when I’m hungry. The fatigue is still my most notable symptom really, and I’m still having some dry skin. Oh! I keep forgetting but this WHOLE pregnancy I have been freaking FREEZING. I’ve always run a little on the cold side, but this is definitely a couple of steps up from my usual self. I’m just cold all the time! Right now at work my thermostat says 75 (it always runs a little high – but the norm is 72-74 for when I feel comfortable) and I’m wearing a sweater AND a fleece. It’s weird. I googled it and am now concerned that maybe I’ve developed a pregnancy-related thyroid issue, so I e-mailed my midwife to see if she needs to add a test to the blood panel I’ll do at 12 weeks. I’m sure it’s no big deal, but it is kind of weird. Anyone else just freaking cold all the time?

Purchases: Nope.

Looking forward to: Genetic ultrasound in 2 weeks, and my mom (and I think my dad too?) visiting for mother’s day weekend!

9 weeks

Oops … I forgot to do my Friday update. And by “forgot” I of course mean “decided to sleep instead.”

I’m super happy to report that we had our second ultrasound last week and it went really well. The baby is still growing on schedule, and its little heart was beating 176 beats per minute! We even got to see him/her wiggling their little arms and legs. It was super cool and, as each passing blood test/ultrasound has done, it boosted my confidence in the fact that I’m actually pregnant. I still spend a lot of time worrying and anxious, but I think it’s getting a little easier to believe/trust.

The circular thing on the right is the yolk sac. The rest is the little one, with its head on the right. You can kind of see its little limbs even!

It’s crazy how much it changed in just 2 weeks. It looks much more human now.

How far along? 9 weeks 3 days

Baby is the size of: a medium green olive? (I don’t eat olives so this helps me not at all) a southern pecan? (also allergic to nuts so … again … not very helpful)

Total weight gain/loss: Still sitting pretty at 0

Maternity clothes: Permanently in the land of stretchy waistbands because holy comfort, Batman. When I say permanently, I mean that I started before I got pregnant and never plan to stop.

Coming out of the baby closet status: So I have both good and bad “coming out” stories this week. I say I start with the bad and graduate to the good – do you agree?

1. (This is probably going to be an unnecessarily long story … #sorrynotsorry) I am a speech-language pathologist at a Children’s Hospital. Most of my job is evaluations, and we have a waiting list that is about 6 months long. This means that my schedule books out around 6 months most of the time. This is annoying because I have to plan vacations in mega-advance. It is also annoying because, right at this moment, I am already booked through the end of October. We are down 1.5 clinicians and the rest of us have had to absorb those caseloads which (obviously) make ours bigger. Anyway, I did NOT want to have to reveal my pregnancy at work yet, but I also did not want to be responsible for having to call and reschedule a billion patients once they started booking into November. So last week, I told our admin that I’m pregnant and had her block my schedule from the beginning of November (I want to have a couple of weeks of flexibility before I leave) through mid-February. Of course, this immediately caused a ruckus with the front desk ladies (who may as well have the additional title of “gossip mongers”) when one of my patients tried to schedule a follow up, so I ended up feeling forced to tell one of them as well. I’m basically assuming that the front desk ladies have, at this point, talked amongst themselves and I am no longer having an easy time making eye contact with them. The thing that really bums me out is that I didn’t feel at all in control of the information. And I like to be in control. But I’m going to have a child soon so I should probably just let it go, eh? Sigh.
2. In the good news column, however … we told my siblings yesterday! I am the oldest of 4 and the whole family tries to video chat about twice a month or so on Sundays. I’ve been really looking forward to telling the sibs but wanted to wait until after the most recent ultrasound, so I decided our “Sunday Funday” Google Hangout would be a great time. It was a bitch and a half to schedule the hangout because my parents are in San Fransisco this weekend (3 hours earlier in terms of time zones) and my youngest sister is currently living in Prague for a few months for work (6 hours later). It somehow all worked out though, and they are all really excited. My brother cried, which was very sweet, and both of my sisters did a lot of squealing and jumping. They’re all going to be excellent aunts and uncles, and this is the first grand baby, so there were lots of positive vibes and excitement.

Have you started to show yet? Just a bloat baby. But no worries, dress pant yoga pants to the rescue 🙂

Sleep: I. Am. So. Tired. All. The. Time. Still hitting the hay between 8:30 and 9pm, which is a little rough on my relationship with Em because I essentially come home from work, eat dinner (sort of – see things making me sick below), make her give me my progesterone shot, then fall asleep.

Best moment this week: The ultrasound was really great! It was awesome to see the little one wiggling around and watch its little heart beat like crazy. We also officially “graduated” from the Reproductive Endocrinologist to a regular old OB/GYN! My RE did some blood work to check on my hormone levels and was able to give me a weaning schedule for all of the fertility meds. I actually feel like I’m weaning sooner than most people I’ve read about?? My RE said that the placenta has taken over at least 80% at this point, and should be producing 100% of the hormones I need by week 10, so she was comfortable weaning right away. I weaned off of Estradiol within 3 days of the appointment (so was off it right around the 9 week mark), and I decreased my Progesterone to 1cc/night. I’ll be off the Progesterone entirely once I hit 10 weeks. They told me to stop the Aspirin (actually they didn’t mention it and I asked), but I didn’t. I don’t know why I didn’t listen to that particular advice but I just felt like stopping everything at once sounded scary and I’m a little concerned because my circulation has always been not the best (I’m that girl whose nose and fingers are always freezing). I’m going to call and ask about it this week, and express my concerns re: circulation. I just don’t want to invite trouble that may have been preventable – especially since most people I read about are staying on all of these drugs through the first trimester.

Miss Anything? Being able to stay awake and interact with my wife on weekdays (also sex. Because tired.)

Movement: nope

Food cravings: Not really. I am having LOTS of what I’d call “food apathy” – and the only thing that I’m really willing to eat during those moments seems to be soft pretzels with mustard. So maybe that? Though it doesn’t really feel like a craving per se.

Anything making you queasy or sick? I’ve been having very apathetic feelings towards all food, especially at lunch and dinner. Nothing sounds good to me except for soft pretzels. I try to have green smoothies with breakfast to load myself up with some nutrients, but even those are just not interesting to me right now. It’s not that I’m not hungry – and most of the time I will eventually settle on something to eat out of “not getting nauseous” necessity, but I just don’t want anything and sometimes the idea of eating makes me queasy.

Symptoms: The nausea has ramped up a bit this past week, but is still really mild compared to what I’ve heard from other people. It’s just kind of a queasy feeling that usually lasts from like 10am til whenever (sometimes just til after lunch, sometimes the rest of the day). It’s definitely worse when my stomach is empty. Also the fatigue is for serious. I guess this baby wants me to save up on sleep so I’m ready when (s)he comes out and never lets me sleep again. I’m also having some dry skin, and am currently slightly concerned that I may be developing a yeast infection (ugh).

Purchases: Nope.

Looking forward to: My first appointment at my OB’s office. The way my office works is that I will work with my OB as well as a midwife throughout the pregnancy. The midwives are all CNMs (certified nurse midwives – so they are registered nurses with additional midwife schooling and licensure), and will be my first point of contact for non-emergencies throughout the pregnancy. During my third trimester, I can choose who I want to deliver the baby (midwife vs. OB). All new patients meet with the midwife for the first appointment, and then with the OB 4 weeks later (and I’ll see the OB every 4 weeks throughout the pregnancy until things ramp up at the end I guess). So I have an appointment with the midwife on Thursday! I’ll be 9 weeks 6 days. I assume that they’ll try to hear the heartbeat via doppler – does that sound like a reasonable expectation? I have no idea what to expect. I presume that the focus will be going over my medical history and this pregnancy so far, medications, weight, etc. I was told to expect this to be about a half hour, and the appointments with the OB to be about 15 minutes each. I’m excited to get started down the “normal” pregnancy path and meet the midwife.

 

8 weeks

I’m sitting at my desk trying so so hard not to fall asleep directly on my keyboard. So hard, you guys. I’m not actually getting any work done due to the fact that I’m spending all my energy staying awake. Thought about giving in and just falling asleep, decided to do a bumpdate instead (/first?)

How far along? 8 weeks

Baby is the size of: wild strawberry, plump raspberry … I dunno, bigger than last week?

Total weight gain/loss: I’m down about a pound and a half – but my “starting” weight is pretty skewed by IVF meds. Overall, things are about status quo.

Maternity clothes: Permanently in the land of stretchy waistbands because holy comfort, Batman. When I say permanently, I mean that I started before I got pregnant and never plan to stop.

Coming out of the baby closet status: We told Em’s mom and (by accident) her sister this past weekend. Em’s mom was as excited as I expected – and her reaction was just what Em needed (she was worried that her mom wouldn’t react the way she had hoped – last minute out-of-nowhere fears that her mom won’t feel like a grandmother because there’s no biological relationship? This was really very out of nowhere and was probably just a moment of excitement and nerves and not a real fear/feeling). We had wrapped up the little cutesy sign we got her that says “The best moms get promoted to grandma.” She didn’t see the writing at first and it was hilarious watching her try to muster a “thank you” for what she thought was a tiny, rectangular, wooden container? Anyway it went well.

Then Em’s sister came to visit and her mom hadn’t put away the sign. So … oops I guess? That “reveal” didn’t go as planned but she is happy for us and we’re happy she is in the know.

Have you started to show yet? Still bloated. At one point this weekend, mother-in-law said “Katie, are you showing?” … to which I growled.

Sleep: Definitely feeling the fatigue at all times. Also waking up once or twice at night the last couple of nights. I don’t know if this is pregnancy related (is it?), but it’s definitely not my norm.

Best moment this week: Hmmmm hard to say. Everything is pretty status quo at the moment. Oh! I found out another friend is pregnant – just a couple of weeks behind me – and am SO excited to have another buddy who’s pregnant at the same time!

Miss Anything? Wine, being able to stay awake past 9pm

Movement: nope

Food cravings: Not really.

Anything making you queasy or sick? I’ve been feeling what I would define as mild nausea (if that), usually in the morning time but generally when I haven’t eaten. Eating seems to help it. This morning was the first time I felt like I might actually be sick. I had my breakfast in the car with me, and I reallllyyy didn’t feel great taking the first few bites but just knew I had to get it in me and sure enough, I felt better by the time I got to work.

Symptoms: Symptoms are still pretty mild and fleeting. Super mild nausea, very briefly, at least once per day. But you guys, it’s SO mild. It’s concerning. My mom tells me that she didn’t ever get morning sickness, and she had 5 pregnancies (1 late first tri miscarriage, 4 kids), so I suppose I could just be genetically predisposed for an easy first trimester. Here’s hoping. Other symptoms (that come and go and aren’t really as notable as they seem when I write them down): fatigue, heartburn, peeing slightly more than usual.

Purchases: Nada.

Looking forward to: Ultrasound on Tuesday! I’ll be 8 weeks 4 days. And then I apparently “graduate” to my OB (who I haven’t chosen yet, by the way … ugh).

Meds madhouse

So I am 7 weeks pregnant today and I’ve been taking the following meds throughout my FET cycle:

• Prenatal vitamin
• Estradiol pills – 2mg AM and 2mg PM
• Progesterone in oil shots – 2 CCs, PM
• Low dose Aspirin – 1 pil, PM
• Vivelle (Estradiol) patch – 1 every other day

Over the last week I have had my levels checked a couple of times. When I went in on Monday for my ultrasound, I showed my nurse the ridiculous rashes that the patch has been leaving – they are red, angry, raised, and itchy, and they stick around for like 2 weeks no matter where I put them. I guess I should have brought this up sooner because she was basically like, “you’re definitely allergic to the adhesive and we’re going to take you off of those.”

After getting my initial results, they decided they couldn’t just take me off the patch and not replace it, so they had me switch my PM Estradiol dose to be taken vaginally instead of orally. That’s right, I now get to shove 2 little blue pills up my vagina “as far as I can go” every evening. Has anyone else done this? Anyway I though it was weird that they weren’t increasing my dose at all (given that they were taking me off the patch and my numbers were slightly low at 453), but they assured me that changing the delivery method would be enough, and that apparently it absorbs better vaginally.

(Side note: my progesterone was 31 even though I’m on a double dose of progesterone in oil. I know 31 is fine but I expected it to be higher? Whatever, I’m just supposed to keep on keeping on with that one.)

Well I repeated the blood tests today, and wouldn’t you know? My estradiol went up to 1,008! Even though technically the amount of estradiol I am taking in went down and all I changed was what hole I put the pills in, it more than doubled. Crazy talk. Fascinating.

Anyone else have a similar med protocol? My RE is going to talk to me about when I can start to wean at my next visit (April 5 – at 8 weeks 4 days), which I’m nervous about. But at least I don’t have to endure those little sticky rectangular devils anymore. And I’m getting marginally less itchy as the days go by. Phew.

7 weeks

OK so last week’s update was a little late and this feels too soon, but I’m 7 weeks today so … may as well get on track.

How far along? 7 weeks

Baby is the size of: a raspberry

Total weight gain/loss: About the same but I’m not really paying attention

Maternity clothes: Still rocking the Betabrand dress pant yoga pants – they’re the actual best. Seriously. Tell me if you want a referral.

Coming out of the baby closet status: We are headed for some in-law time this weekend, and will be telling Em’s mom in person. She bought one of those “the best moms get promoted to grandma” signs that we’re going to give her.

Have you started to show yet? Nope. Still bloated from the meds though.

Sleep: Sleep has been fine. I’m a little more tired that usual but not waking up to pee yet 🙂

Best moment this week: Since our first ultrasound was technically this week, that’s still my favorite moment. I’ve been enjoying this whole pregnancy thing a lot more since I got to see with my own eyes that there’s a little guy in there with a heartbeat and everything.

Miss Anything? Wine

Movement: nope

Food cravings: Not really.

Anything making you queasy or sick? No real aversions, but I’ve been having major heartburn so acidic foods (like a caprese salad that I had for lunch a couple of times last week) are not making me very excited.

Symptoms: All of my “symptoms” are super minimal and I am certain that I wouldn’t notice them if I wasn’t looking. That said, here they are: fatigue (going to bed early, wanting naps), heartburn (every day), and peeing kind of a lot (but also being thirsty all the damn time).

Purchases: Nada.

Looking forward to: The weekend! Oh, about the pregnancy? I’m getting excited to have my 8 week ultrasound and then tell my siblings.