New Year New Beginnings

Phew. Well, I just spent my work day catching up on all of y’all’s blogs. I took a much needed break from everything (work, home, blogs, life) for the holidays, and it was really wonderful. I’m back now though, with updates and plans and new hope!

So I am now on day 10 of a brand new cycle. My last cycle was 54 fucking days, and I’m convinced I’d still be waiting were it not for the progesterone. I ended up getting my period exactly a week after my last pill (so 6 days after I finished the 5-day course of progesterone). In case you’ve forgotten – this last cycle I took 100mg Clomid days 3-7 and showed a dominant follicle which then started to shrink somewhere around days 14-17 and resulted in an anovulatory cycle. My RE declared me Clomid resistant, and told me to wait for my period. Her theory was that the shrinking follicle(s) indicated a drop in estrogen, which would eventually result in a period at the normal time anyway. Wrong. So I took a 5-day course of Provera and eventually got my period. Overshare warning: it was like 2 periods in one. I bled for 6 days and spotted one more. And at Christmas, too!

That period may have been terrible, but I m so pumped to now be starting a new cycle after an unplanned 2 month break! I’ll admit that it was nice to not (really) worry about fertility stuff during the holidays (like, all of the holidays – Halloween, Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas …). I’ll also admit that it is nice to be worrying about it again now!

Given that I had a birthday (I’m 28 – cue the “geez you’re young” thoughts) and it is almost New Years, I’ve been thinking a lot about how different I thought this time of year would feel for me. When I went to my first consultation with my RE in January 2014, I really thought that I’d be pregnant by Christmas. I had planned to be pregnant while I was 27. Of course, even then, I knew that I would likely have some trouble and that there was certainly a chance I wouldn’t meet those expectations. Still, it feels like this month represented a crossed threshold. I’m entering uncharted territory, and it feels like a new start. So even though I’m disappointed that I’m not pregnant yet, passing all of these mile markers (my 28th birthday, Christmas, and 2014 in general) gives me a blank slate.

So here’s what’s up with my blank slate:

• As I feared would happen, I got my period while I was out of town (Em and I hit the road on Friday 12/19 to head to Philly to see her family, and then Cleveland to see mine). Luckily (really, we are so lucky), Em’s dad is a doctor and was able to get us in for a baseline ultrasound at his clinic and coordinate with our doctor to get the order through and the results sent back quickly and efficiently. It was such a relief! I had been so anxious about having the “baseline window” (days 2-5) happen while we were away – a) because I was worried my RE would want to skip another cycle, and b) because even if she was fine with it I had no idea how to go about getting an ultrasound in a random place.
• My baseline was all clear and I got the go-ahead to start taking my Letrozole/Femara.
• This is my first cycle taking Letrozole/Femara. I took 5mg days 3-7, and am really hoping that I respond this time around and actually ovulate.
• Speaking of the drugs – I forgot to pick up the prescription (which I had already had filled) on our way out of town, so an additional anxiety was getting it transferred to Philly so that I could actually take it. There was an almost-glitch that it had already been filled and was ready for pick up, but apparently they were still able to transfer it. Phew!
• This morning I had my day 10 monitoring ultrasound to see what’s going on in there. Apparently I have 3 measurable follicles on the left (10mm, 11mm, and 12mm) and 2 on the right (10mm and 11mm). Sounds like a good start to me (famous last words). The ultrasound tech did her concerned voice and freaked me out, but apparently she had the wrong dates and thought I was already on day 17. Phew again.
• One other thing related to this blank slate that I’m pumped about – 2 of my good friends are just starting TTC. One of them I doubt will have any trouble (and has the benefit of being straight – AKA free access to the goods). The other is a lebi-friend who is trying for her first/their second. Both have been trying for about a month. I know that I’m setting myself up for disappointment here – but it would be so much fun to be pregnant with / have kids at the same time as them.

So, onward and upward as they say!

I know this post is getting all long and ramble-y, but a few non TTC tidbits to share:

As I said, Em and I (and the pup) road tripped it from Boston (where we live) to Philly to be with her family for a few days, and then on to Cleveland to be with mine. And, of course/inevitably, back again. The “back again” part involved 11 hours in the car, but otherwise the trip was a really nice respite!

We walked around Longwood Gardens’ christmas display, which was beautiful (and you can’t discount the excitement of seeing green things growing in the dead of winter when you live in New England).

Time with my family was spent hitting all of our holiday traditions, including decorating Christmas cookies in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve.

And I got to have some mother/daughter bonding time with my mom while my wife, dad, and siblings went to see a movie. We made placemats! I’ve been on a major crafting (sewing/crocheting) kick. It was a lot of fun :). I wish I got to see my family more. Maybe that’s on my resolution list for 2015.

So, that’s the skinny. I promise that I’ll be back more often now that I’m finally out of limbo land. I know some of y’all have done Letrozole – what was your dose? How did it compare to Clomid if you did both? I’m hoping for faster growing follicles, and ideally more than 1 dominant follicle. Here’s hoping!